lady in waiting

last night was the long awaited portfolio night when i presented my precious portfolio to a committee of NCU faculty and staff. i was so dang proud of my portfolio and how much time and effort i put into it. before i went into the room, i stood outside and could hear them. i heard them tear it apart and make smart comments about it! ok, i should be fair... i only heard one of them - not sure what the others said. but it was enough to bring me down. after the interview process (which i had no confidence for after what i heard before entering), they told me what i did well and needed to improve on for both the interview and the portfolio itself. i left feeling like crap. they were SO opinionated!! after a long talk with nick last night i finally let it go and realized the situation we were in last night was NOT like a real interview and that i didn't screw up in my interview last week. now i wait for a job. i should hear back from the charter school i applied to any day now. i check my phone and email constantly - which is probably not helping. today i interviewed for an assitant director position in the academic tutoring center on campus at NCU. i'm keeping my options wide open. this afternoon my goal is to get my resume out to a few more schools. i'll take my chances in applying for a long term or part time position even. i don't need benefits b/c i have nick so i can try something different. job searching is a bit scary. especially with a teaching degree in the minneapolis area. but before i began this process God told me to trust him. not sure what situation i'm supposed to trust him in, but he'll open and close all the right doors. i'll just wait.